Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
(from “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe)
When Mr. Bieberstein asked our 8th grade Social Studies class to memorize at least 40 lines of a famous poem and recite it before the class, I chose to learn lines from Poe’s “The Raven.” What we memorize in our younger years stays with us and as I was contemplating the observance of Advent this week, Poe’s lines came to mind. Probably not a poem often quoted at Advent, but in my defense, Poe did set it in “bleak December” and “peering” into the deep darkness and trying to discern the shape of some shadow or some faint ray of light is a great description of the work we do during Advent.
If you want to know something about the experience of darkness, Poe’s “The Raven” is a good source. As he ruminates on the death of his beloved, Lenore, Poe depicts an experience of grief that suggests slipping into a kind of schizophrenia. He hears a tapping at his door, and as he opens the door to look for the source of the sound he is initially greeted with a silent darkness. Eventually he encounters a raven outside his window and the bird has but one word for this grief-stricken man: “Nevermore.”
That’s often the way darkness can feel. In deep darkness we strain to discern some source of light, we lean forward and listen for some sound. And when neither emerge, the dark silence ratchets up our despair. Praying people have called this the “dark night of the soul.” It is the overwhelming experience of the presence of an absence. It is the desolation of wondering if God is anywhere to be found. It is the fear that our soul, as Poe put it, “Shall be lifted—nevermore!”
The Psalms acknowledge this experience. And fortunately, they give us words to pray to God in the midst of it. Psalm 115 is one of those prayers that grows out of this kind of desolation. It’s sort of a bargain with God that grows out of an experience of the darkness of God’s apparent absence. It begins with the appeal:
Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory,
for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness.
Why should the nations say, “Where is your God?”
We miss you God. We’re not seeing you. So, show up. But don’t do it just for us. Do it for yourself. Don’t just come and save us. Defend yourself. These folks that surround us don’t think you exist. But we know the power of your faithfulness and steadfast love. So, show up and show them these things that are at the core of your being. If you are out there God, if you are listening, if you care, then show yourself in a way that makes the darkness face into the truth of its impending demise. Let the darkness know that its only option is to admit its ultimate destruction by your light.
If Christmas is about light, Advent is about darkness. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t know one without the other. Both are a normative part of our experience. Thank God that the rhythms and observances of the spiritual life honestly make room for both realities. Those perceived injustices we suffer will continue to come tapping on our doors. They will suggest to us that they have the last word. And we will be tempted to believe them. But the best response to these invitations to despair is not to greet darkness as an aberration we should fear, but as a norm that gives birth to prayer. The life of faith in God gives us the ability to navigate in the darkness. It is a life that triggers memory and instills hope. It fosters the boldness that allows us to bargain with God. To look into and ultimately beyond the darkness and scan the horizon for the light spoken into being by the author of all life. The light that will ultimately guide our feet “into the way of peace.”
All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being.
What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.
The light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it.
John 1:3-5
David Rohrer
12/16/2020